You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
