im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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