you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
