I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
