i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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