I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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