Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
