Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
