And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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