He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night