Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
