Got a toothbrush?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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