You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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