I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
