Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
