i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
