ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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