Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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