I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
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You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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