I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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