So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
