the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
