Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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