i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
