3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
