Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize