He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize