ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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