Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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