sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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