Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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