at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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