The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize