Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
