honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize