i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do herpes really smell.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
