I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
