a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize