I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
