I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
