I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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