Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
