I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You don't make any sense
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