Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
