I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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