I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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