We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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