My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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