the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
