Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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