I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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