We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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