He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
