you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
