I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
foreskin is a definite game changer
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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