Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
