how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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