One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Me too!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
