just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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