After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
