I feel like abortions should bother me more
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
